Romanticizing Fantasy vs living in reality

IT ​TAKES COURAGE. THIS IS STEP ONE. PIECING IDEAS AND THOUGHTS, AND PUTTING THEM INTO ACTUAL WORDS. THE WORDS STARING BACK AT YOU FROM A SCREEN. READING AND RE-READING, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF WHAT HAS BEEN WRITTEN MAKES ANY SENSE. WILL ANYONE READ? WILL ANYONE RELATE? DOES ANYONE CARE? AND THE BIG ONE, AM I WASTING MY TIME? I'VE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY COME TO THE CONCLUSION, NONE OF THESE QUESTIONS MATTER.ESPECIALLY THE ONE PERTAINING TO WASTING TIME. THE INACTION CAUSED BY THE CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH QUESTIONING PURPOSE, IS THE WASTE. OUR INSECURITIES DOMINATE OUR THOUGHT PATTERNS WHEN IT COMES TO PASSION PROJECTS AND CREATIVE ENDEAVORS. I'VE RECENTLY FELT A STRONG, PERSISTENT NEED TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCES AND THE THINGS THAT I HAVE LEARNED. I THINK THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH SPIRITUALITY AND PURPOSE. THANKS TO A BIBLE STUDY I HAVE BEEN ATTENDING FOR THE LAST 10 MONTHS, THAT WORD PURPOSE HAS STUCK WITH ME. BEING IN TUNE WITH FAITH AND SPIRITUALITY WAS SOMETHING I'VE LACKED MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHY AM I DOING THE THINGS I AM? IS IT FOR PERSONAL ADULATION? FOR ME, THAT QUESTION OF PURPOSE HAS BEEN ANSWERED WITH INSPIRATION. I WOULD LIKE TO BE SOMEONE WHO INSPIRES OTHERS NOT TO BE AFRAID TO BE THEIR TRUE SELF. NOT AFRAID TO BE A MALCONTENT TO THE PRESSURES OF SOCIETAL NORMS. BUT COMING TO THESE REALIZATIONS COMES AT A PRICE. SEE, A LOT OF THE TIME I LIVE IN FANTASY. BELIEVE YOU ME, THINKING THOSE WORDS IS NOT AN EASY THING. TYPING THEM WITH THE INTENT TO SHARE IS EVEN HARDER. BUT I NEED TO BE TRUTHFUL IN ORDER TO BE BELIEVED AND INSPIRE. I FEEL AT EASE SHARING THIS KNOWING I AM NOT ALONE. I CALL THIS SYMPTOM "ROMANTICIZING FANTASY". THOSE OF US WHO SUFFER FROM THIS ARE DREAMERS, CREATIVES AND ENTREPRENEURS WHO BECOME OVERWHELMED WITH THE ACTUAL WORK REQUIRED TO BE SUCCESSFUL. WE BECOME IN LOVE WITH THE FANTASY, A PARALLEL WORLD WE CREATE IN OUR MINDS OF THE LIFE WE SHOULD BE LIVING. THIS ALSO HAPPENS IN OTHER AREAS OF LIFE, AND IS MANIFESTED THROUGH THE USE OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. I AM PARTICULARLY FOCUSING ON THE FANTASTICAL IMAGINATION PORTION, BECAUSE IT AFFECTS ME MORESO THAN THE OTHER VICES.

DREAMING IS GREAT. THE PURPOSE OF ME WRITING THIS IS NOT TO DISCOURAGE DREAMING. DREAMS ARE WHERE OUR INSPIRATION ORIGINATE. BUT HAVING A HEALTHY DOSAGE OF DREAMS WITH REAL WORLD ACTUALIZATION IS NECESSARY. MYSELF, I AM A DECENTLY TALENTED INDIVIDUAL. I LOVE CREATING MUSIC AND GRAPHIC DESIGNS. THE MAJORITY OF THOSE CREATIONS THOUGH, HAVE BEEN STORED AWAY IN HARD DRIVES AND NOT SHARED WITH THE WORLD. I HAVE BEEN CALLED A "HOARDER OF TALENT". I HAVE USED SOCIAL MEDIA AS A MEDIUM TO SHARE SOME OF THOSE CREATIONS. BEING ABLE TO SHARE THROUGH THOSE PLATFORMS HAS INADVERTENTLY, BUT NOW CONSCIOUSLY FILLED A VOID. IT GIVES ME THE PERCEPTION, FOR JUST AN INSTANT, THAT I AM ACCOMPLISHED. THAT IS CRAZY. I WORKED FOR 2 YEARS ON AN ELECTRONIC MUSIC PROJECT THAT I RELEASED WORLDWIDE. I RECEIVED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF GREAT FEEDBACK. BUT MY LOVE FOR FANTASY STALLED ANY MOMENT THAT I HAD GAINED. A COMBINATION OF FEAR, INSECURITY & THE INSTANT GRATIFICATION OF SOCIAL MEDIA MADE IT EASY TO RESIDE IN FANTASY. THE BIGGEST LESSON I'VE LEARNED FROM THIS IS ONE THING: PEOPLE WHO ARE SUCCESSFUL, IN AY FIELD ARE THE ONES WHO DO MORE THAN THEY SAY OR THINK. DOERS. MY WIFE AND I WERE WATCHING A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT YOUTUBE VIDEOS. PEOPLE WITH OVER 10 MILLION VIEWS AND SUCH. MAKING A LIVING OUT OF POSTING VIDEOS. AND I'M ON THE OTHER END. WATCHING. FULL OF PASSION AND IDEAS. BUT NOT ACTING ON THOSE IDEAS. BEING A CRITIC OF PEOPLE DOING. PLAYING THE SIDELINES WHILE TIME IS SLIPPING BY. IN LOVE WITH CREATING IDEAS BUT NOT CREATING IN REALITY. SO WHAT'S THE SOLUTION? DOING. NOT BEING SATISFIED WITH SHARING ON SOCIAL MEDIA. NOT SATISFIED WITH PLANNING. NOT JUST DREAMING. BUT PUTTING IDEAS INTO WORDS. WORDS INTO ACTIONS. YOU HAVE READ MINE. I'M PUTTING MY IDEAS INTO WORDS. BELIEVE ME, LIVING IN REALITY, PURSUING YOUR PASSION IS MUCH MORE SATISFACTORY THAN CONTINUING LIFE PURPOSELESS BECAUSE OF INACTION. SUCCESS IS NOT GUARANTEED. BUT FAILURE IS, IF YOU DO NOT ACT.