PERCEIVED VALUE

IS WHAT WE PERCEIVE REAL? DOES IT MATTER? IS IT MORE IMPORTANT HOW OTHERS SEE US OR ACTUALLY LIVING IN ONE’S TRUTH? IT IS A LOADED AND MULTI-LAYERED QUESTION I'VE CONTEMPLATED, DISCUSSED AND ARGUED ABOUT OVER THE YEARS. I'VE ALWAYS COME TO THE SAME CONCLUSION: THOSE CONSUMED WITH PERCEPTION ARE NOT CONCERNED WITH THE TRUTH.

OVER THE YEARS I'VE HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH A FRIEND WHO IS AN ENTREPRENEUR. HE WOULD TELL ME ABOUT MEETINGS WITH BUSINESS ASSOCIATES WHO ARE AFFLUENT. ONE THING THAT STOOD OUT ABOUT THESE STORIES WAS THE FACT THAT MY FRIEND FELT THE NEED, TO PORTRAY HIMSELF AS AFFLUENT AS THE PERSON HE MIGHT BE SITTING ACROSS FROM AT THAT MOMENT. FROM THE CAR HE ARRIVED IN, TO THE SUITS HE WORE TO THE WINE ORDERED AT DINNER, IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR HIM TO BE SEEN AS AN EQUAL. IT WAS STRATEGIC. HE WOULD STRESS TO ME THAT PERCEPTION WAS REALITY. IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT WAS GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES. TO THE WORLD, YOU ARE WHAT YOU SHOW AND ALLOW THEM TO SEE. IN A WAY, I'VE UNDERSTOOD HIS PERSPECTIVE. WHY WOULD SOMEONE OF AFFLUENCE WANT TO ENGAGE SOMEONE WHO MAY NOT BE ON THE SAME "LEVEL"? THOUGH UNSPOKEN, IT'S A REFLECTION OF HOW ONE MIGHT SEE ONESELF, AS LESS THAN. ACCEPTING THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT  IS GIVING THE OTHER PERSON TOO MUCH POWER OVER HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF, AND THAT WILL EVENTUALLY MANIFEST IN OTHER AREAS. EVEN IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS PERSPECTIVE, THERE IS ONLY ONE ISSUE WITH THIS WAY OF THINKING: PERCEPTION IS NOT REALITY.

FOR ME IT HAS BECOME REAL SIMPLE. YOU CAN'T FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. AT WHAT POINT HAVE YOU MADE IT AND WHEN DOES THE FAKING STOP? THIS WAY OF THINKING CAN CAUSE A SNOWBALL EFFECT WHICH IS DANGEROUS. IT CAN RUIN A PERSON'S POWER, WILL, SELF CONFIDENCE, DIGNITY AND EVEN THEIR SANITY. ESPECIALLY IF THERE IS EARLY SUCCESS OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT FROM OTHERS BECAUSE OF THIS DECEPTION. TRUTHFULLY, THAT IS WHAT IT REALLY IS, PLACING VALUE ON PERCEPTION IS DECEPTION. EXCEPT YOU ARE NOT REALLY DECEIVING OTHERS, YOU ARE DECEIVING YOURSELF. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE HEARD STORIES OF ARTIST LIVING BEYOND THEIR MEANS BUT PORTRAYING THEMSELVES TO BE WEALTHY? WHO ARE THEY REALLY LYING TO? WHAT IS THE UNDERLYING ISSUE AT HAND WHERE, WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?

I AM CERTAINLY NOT ABOVE THIS. AND IT IS A TUG OF WAR FOR ME. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN IMPORTANT TO ME WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME, ESPECIALLY MY APPEARANCE. THE CLOTHES I WEAR MATTER. MY SNEAKERS MATTER. BEING "FRESH" MATTERS. BEING LIKED AND ACCEPTED MATTERS, BUT DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHEN YOUR ARE LIKED FOR A CHARACTER YOU ARE PORTRAYING? I'VE SUBSTITUTED PRIDE FOR DIGNITY. MOST OF US WEAR MASKS. MINE HAPPENS TO BE THE MATERIAL AND SUPERFICIAL. CLOTHING NOT ONLY COVERS MY BODY BUT COVERS MY PAIN. MY INSECURITIES. GROWING UP I WAS BULLIED. AS AN EXAMPLEI GREW UP SELF CONSCIENCE ABOUT MY HEAD. I HAVE A BIG FOREHEAD SO AS SOON AS I WAS ABLE TO, I STARTED BUYING HATS. SO FOR ME IT WAS IMPORTANT TO BE KNOW AS THE KID WITH DOPE HATS INSTEAD OF THE KID WITH A BIG HEAD. IT WAS EASY TO FIND SHELTER BEHIND CLOTHING. MY CLOTHING PROTECTED ME FROM WORLD IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. I COULD EASILY TALK ABOUT FITTEDS, JERSEYS OR NIKES RATHER THAN FOCUS ON MYSELF AND WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH. I WAS ABLE CONTROL THE NARRATIVE  OR SO I THOUGHT. I NEVER ADDRESSED THE REAL ISSUE. PLACING VALUE ON THE MATERIAL IS THE RESULT OF THE LACK OF VALUE IN ONESELF, MYSELF. IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED FOR HAVING NICE SNEAKERS OR THE NEWEST HAT WHEN YOU REALLY HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT. LET ME BE CLEAR, MATERIAL POSSESSIONS AREN'T NECESSARILY A BAD THING. IT'S THE OBSESSION THAT'S THE ISSUE. THE REASONS WHY HOW WE ARE PERCEIVED MATTER TO US IS WHAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED. IT HAS BEEN A PROCESS JUST GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN BE HONEST AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT. PLACING VALUE ON PERCEPTION WILL LIMIT HOW YOU SHOULD PERCEIVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU. IS THAT IRONIC?

THIS SHOULD APPLY TO ALL ASPECTS OF OUR LIVES. WHETHER YOU ARE A STRUGGLING ARTIST, A CHEF, TEACHER OR UBER DRIVER,IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP OR AN ABSENTEE FATHER, LIVE YOUR TRUTH. BE WHO YOU ARE AT THE MOMENT AND WORK TOWARDS THE GOALS IN MIND AND ACTUALLY BEING THE PERSON YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK YOU ARE. HAVE FAITH. FAITH IT TO YOU MAKE IT. TRUST IN GOD. WHEN YOU FEEL A NEED TO IMPRESS SOMEONE BY PORTRAYING THAT CHARACTER THAT YOU AREN'T YET, JUST REMEMBER: IF THAT PERSON DOESN'T LOVE YOU, SUPPORT YOU OR ENCOURAGE YOU DURING YOUR GRIND, THEY WON'T AT ANY TIME. I'LL TAKE LOVE THAT IS GENUINE FROM 3 PEOPLE ANY DAY OVER LOVE THAT ISN'T REAL FROM THE WORLD. I NOW SEE VALUING PERCEPTION SKEWS THAT PARADIGM. THAT IS REAL DECEPTION.